That's the answer. Plain and simple. No, I do not need glasses.
Firstly, because I have above average vision. Any optician will tell you that despite my grey hairs and ever-increasing years the eyes are still fighting fit.
Secondly, because I have too many glasses (according to my wife anyway).
Of course, I am referring to every beer drinker's compulsive habit - the beer glass.
Yesterday, Lauren, the Functions & Marketing Manager of a certain Ann Street (Brisbane) establishment (Platform Bar), amazed me beyond all amazement.
It goes without saying that I am a beer sicko. I can' t make excuses and I know that I'm not alone. Anything to do with beer comes home with me if possible and if legal. I will not condone theft. Ok, ok I have been guilty of it in the past - in my younger light-fingered days but I'm not proud of it. These days I tend to ask a member of staff if something is available for keeps.
Beery paraphernalia 'wins' include beer mats, labels etc and, of course, glasses (never, ever bar maids sadly).
Yesterday, towards the end of a Melbourne Cup works function, John ordered a pint of Stella Artois. Fair enough. The only thing was, the glass that he got served his beer in was suuuuperior. It was a corker. He wanted to take it home. So did I and so did Pete and Adrian!
Lauren quite rightly said "No, you cannot take it."
My colleague respected that. To be honest, why should he be allowed to take home part of a pubs glassware. Silly right?
Lauren then disappeared. She went to retrieve something.
The next thing that happened kicked me in the man-bits. I wasn't expecting it.
When she re-appeared a few minutes later, she had in her grasp 4 very special looking glasses. Goddammit - 1 each for the 4 of us!
The first one was a Pilsner Urquell glass from the Czech Republic that Adrian took home. It's a fine looking beast (the glass, not Adrian) that holds half a pint.
The next one was a Hoegaarden Grand Cru glass. A very special thing.....according to the Hoegaarden website, the Grand Cru is only available in Belgium. This means that owning such a vessel is somewhat of a privilege. Pete is now the proud owner.
The next two were identical pint glasses from a brewery that I'm very fond of, Meantime Brewing Co. from Greenwich, London. I was born in Lewisham which is just a few miles from Greenwich and my adolescent years involved growing up just down river from Greenwich in a beautiful part of the world called Erith. For those who wish to know, my Dad was a
I also have many fond memories of nights out partying in Greenwich.
Anyway, I digress. John and I both managed to each walk away with a splendid pint glass. The design on the glass incorporates tiny bits of clock mechanism which is an obvious reference to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT).
Quite how a bar in the middle of Brisbane, Australia acquired glasses from a little-known (although very good) brewery in London is anyone's guess. Ours is not to reason why. I hate proverbs really but what I mean is "Who cares where the glasses came from!" because they have now found very good homes and, in my case, will sit as part of a larger collection of glasses. More of which I'll spoil you with in the future. Bet you can't wait!
This glassy episode has lead me to re-ignite my desire to track down some Meantime beers again.
Lauren, we are all extremely grateful. Your customer service skills needn't have stretched that far but we're very glad that they did.